We often get told we are ‘people pleasing’. But what does this actually mean? We think the term has become overused and we want to encourage you to take the time to dig a little deeper. You may well find quite a lot more going on under the surface… We can see that our behaviours … Continue reading Is it really people pleasing?
Category: Identity
A key parallel between experiences of autism and trauma
What we are learning
We have had the privilege to connect with some other systems recently. It has been and continues to be the most wonderful and precious experience for us. For the first time that we can remember there is a real sense of belonging, of being seen and wanting to be seen, of being part of something. … Continue reading What we are learning
When ‘Happy Birthdays’ are more than just ‘Happy’!
Our birthday is not far away and it raises a lot of mixed feelings for us. There is the excitement of celebrations, surprises and seeing friends. But there is so much more to our Birthday than this. There is the resentment of celebrating a day that many of us wished had never happened. Alongside this … Continue reading When ‘Happy Birthdays’ are more than just ‘Happy’!
Sick
TW: Contains brief description of trauma triggers. No one enjoys getting sick. We finally succumbed to COVID last week and have been reflecting on our responses to it. First comes the usual fear and anger towards ourselves. Will we be in trouble? Are we really unwell or just making it up? Are we unwell enough … Continue reading Sick
Trusting ourselves
We have been scammed twice in the last couple of weeks. The feelings of shame and self loathing this brings up are, naturally, huge. These feelings our compounded however because on both occasions, particularly the first one, we knew something wasn’t quite right, but we went ahead anyway. We are generally cautious with money, we … Continue reading Trusting ourselves
Protecting others
We have been thinking a lot about how much time and effort we put into protecting others. At times this protecting has been literal - we have protected my sister from the abuse we experienced by keeping quiet and complying with our abusers. But, more insidious than this is the way in which we have … Continue reading Protecting others
Why I don’t aspire to survive
I don’t want to survive trauma or be a trauma survivor. I don’t want to give myself this label and I don’t want it from anyone else. I want more. To me surviving is what I have always done, I am working past that response. Survival feels too limiting. Of course you could tell … Continue reading Why I don’t aspire to survive