When I hear the word executive functioning ‘I see my frontal lobes in a fancy leather chair which is slowly spinning round to face me. If my frontal lobes had hands they would be tapping consecutive fingertips as if plotting their next dastardly disruption to my day’
Category: Traumatism
Posts relating to trauma, autism, complex PTSD and DID
Protecting others
We have been thinking a lot about how much time and effort we put into protecting others. At times this protecting has been literal - we have protected my sister from the abuse we experienced by keeping quiet and complying with our abusers. But, more insidious than this is the way in which we have … Continue reading Protecting others
Memories
I have been thinking a lot about memories, specifically how the autistic brain experiences remembering and the similarities to flashbacks and somatic re-experiencing. There is a propensity for the autistic brain to experience events as traumatic. This can be due to sensory sensitivities, previous sensitisation from a history of bullying and social confusion and a … Continue reading Memories
Not that anxiety
*Trigger warning: mentions self harm* Anxiety is an extremely common and debilitating experience in both autism and any trauma related difficulties. Health care professionals talk to me about my anxiety. They empathise with how difficult it must be to constantly be worrying about the future, to have thoughts continuously running through my head. They … Continue reading Not that anxiety
A meltdown isn’t always an explosion, an implosion isn’t always a meltdown
I have been in a depressed, hypoaroused fog this week. I’m not sure what has triggered it, or when it will lift, my biggest achievement thus far, other than dragging my body through the necessary animal care duties, is doing a bowl of washing up! In brief windows of clarity, I have been able to … Continue reading A meltdown isn’t always an explosion, an implosion isn’t always a meltdown
What do we mean when we talk about trauma, PTSD and DID?
Understanding what trauma is and how it relates to PTSD and DID is vital in enabling us to see how many of us, in particular those who are autistic, experience trauma in our lifetimes. What is trauma? Trauma is any experience a person has which exceeds their ability to cope or process and integrate the … Continue reading What do we mean when we talk about trauma, PTSD and DID?
Trust
The firm belief in the reliability, truth or behaviour of someone or something I recently finished reading Uniquely Human by Dr Prizant (a book I would highly recommend for its empathic and compassionate approach to viewing and working with people with autism). In the book Dr Prizant writes about autism as a disability of trust. … Continue reading Trust
Why I don’t aspire to survive
I don’t want to survive trauma or be a trauma survivor. I don’t want to give myself this label and I don’t want it from anyone else. I want more. To me surviving is what I have always done, I am working past that response. Survival feels too limiting. Of course you could tell … Continue reading Why I don’t aspire to survive
Why Traumatism?
I have been working hard at getting to know myself and my responses better. Early on in this process I noticed the parallels between autism and trauma. As my understanding has grown so has my realisation of how multifaceted and complex the interactions between autism and trauma are. I like playing with words, particularly making … Continue reading Why Traumatism?